Blogger | Teacher
“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.” These wise words from Raymond Lindquist speak volumes to the heartbroken souls all around the world grieving for their lost loves. Dealing with heartbreak is one of the hardest struggles any person will ever experience, and we desperately hope and pray that our children never have to feel what we felt.
But whether you’re fourteen or forty-seven, heartbreak finds a way into your life. It’s impossible to evade, and painful to overcome. But there are also some truly beautiful things that come from a broken heart. While it may not feel like it at the time, having your heart broken is a gift in its own way, and it teaches you so much about yourself and the world that you may never have known otherwise.
You Learn About Yourself
One of the most amazing gifts that come from heartbreak is the knowledge you gain about who you are. When you’re left on your own, picking up the pieces of yourself all alone, you truly learn what you’re made of.
You are so much stronger than you can ever imagine. Each person is capable of moving mountains, shifting oceans, and spinning the world on its axis. But when we decide that someone else holds our worth, we forget that we’re made of starlight and history.
As hard as it is to handle, heartbreak gives you the opportunity to grow and evolve, to become a better, kinder, stronger person. Someone more assured in themselves who knows that they are always capable of pulling themselves back out of the rabbit hole of sadness that a broken heart sends them down.
You Discover What You Want and Don’t Want
Heartbreak isn’t just about who you are – it’s also about what you want. So often the person who broke our hearts is the “one” and we’ll never get over the pain of losing our “soulmate.” But there’s always another chance to be loved, and the perspective that comes from having a broken heart gives you the opportunity to learn from your previous relationships.
What was it that didn’t work in your last relationship? What made it special – so amazing that the heartbreak hurts this badly? What parts of this love do you want to keep, and what do you hope never to experience again?
Being heartbroken is hard, but it’s also a beautiful learning experience, one that can help us create more supportive, stable relationships in the future.
You Understand Music and Art a Little Bit Better
There are thousands of thousands of songs about heartbreak – I’m pretty sure my breakup playlist has every single one – and mountains of literature written by sad souls who lost at the game of love. Art has been made for decades to show off the purity and pain of being heartbroken, and poetry is made just as frequently by the broken-hearted as it is by the happy.
And while you can listen to a sad song and know it’s sad or see a painting and know that the artist is “tortured,” it isn’t until you’ve felt heartbreak yourself that it all makes sense. The art and music and literature that comes from the heartbroken are meant to be understood on an emotional level. You have to be heartbroken to know the beauty of heartbreak, to see the true colors and shapes and sounds that come from putting yourself back together.
If you’re going through a broken heart yourself, don’t be afraid to explore the sounds and sights of heartbreak. The way this universal experience connects us all is a wonderful, amazing thing, and we should use it as an opportunity to learn from each other and grow together.
You Appreciate the People You Have Even More
The greatest gift heartbreak ever gave me was showing me the truth about the people around me. Some people weren’t who I thought they were, and I had to let them go to take care of myself during such a vulnerable and emotional time.
But some people – sometimes unexpectedly – really showed up for me, and I grew to appreciate these true friendships more than I ever had before. The family that loved and supported me, the friends who made sure I was fed and taken care of, the coworkers who gave me the space to grieve – these are the people I am most thankful for.
Heartbreak tears people apart, but it also brings people together. You share an experience with others that’s so painfully human, and it connects you in a way that doesn’t need words or explanation.
Not only did being heartbroken teach me who I was, but it also taught me who I wanted around me. And I have never been happier with the people who I have in my life than I am now.
You Open New Doors
Sometimes when you love someone, you forget that you are your own person. You are a person with dreams and goals and aspirations, with amazing skills and talents that no one else has. You think, “I’m willing to give up on my dreams if it means I get to be with this person.”
And that sentiment is beautiful, it honestly is. It’s so wonderful to find someone who you are willing to sacrifice for and who is willing to sacrifice for you in return.
But when you’re on your own, there isn’t that pressure to make sure everyone is living a happy and fulfilling life. As painful as it can be, heartbreak means there is one less person who stands in the way of everything you want. You have everything inside yourself to do whatever you dream of, but sometimes you need a little heartbreak to push you to follow those dreams.
If I hadn’t had my heartbroken, I would never have left the area I grew up in. But it was my partner leaving that made me realize that my goals and dreams were completely achievable with just a little bit of determination, effort, and drive.
Don’t let heartbreak keep you from pursuing the new opportunities in your life. Let the pain push you forward, encouraging you to be exactly the kind of person you want to be.
You Find Out That Love is More Beautiful than It is Painful
Love is hard and painful, and sometimes all that time and effort can end badly. The future you hoped for with the person you loved can be taken from you, and you’re left to try and figure out what comes next all on your own. It can be so easy to become hard and cynical, to lose hope in finding love again.
But heartbreak isn’t just about seeing the hurtful struggle that love carries with it. It’s also about seeing the beauty that comes from being in love. Being heartbroken hurts, but the fact that you loved so hard that you mourned losing it? That’s beautiful and some people never find that.
Don’t let heartbreak turn you cold. Let it warm you. Let it push you to discover that love comes in so many forms and from so many different places, and each is just as beautiful and wonderful and valid as the romances that didn’t work out.
I know it’s easy to want to protect your children from feeling the pain of heartbreak. I know we want to hold them close and cover their eyes and free them from the struggles of losing love.
But I stand by the sentiment that it’s healthy for everyone to have their heart broken at least once in their lives. The gifts you gain from heartbreak are ones that help you become a stronger, better person, and you connect with others on an entirely new level.
Don’t be afraid of heartbreak and love. Love is beautiful, so love with your whole soul, and know that if your heart gets broken, you’ll still be okay tomorrow.
About Draven Jackson
Draven is an avid writer and reader who enjoys sharing her opinions on movies, books, and music with the rest of the world. She will soon be working as a teacher in Japan and hopes to use her experience to connect with other teachers and students around the globe. Draven spends most of her time at home with her family, her dogs, and her ferret.
To see more, view all posts by Draven Jackson here.