Understanding Your Love Language

Understanding Your Love Language

 languageDraven Jackson
Blogger | Teacher

As Rumi once said, “Love will find its way through all languages on its own.” Love is a beautiful emotion that we all experience and share differently, and knowing your receiving and giving love language can help you better communicate your needs and feelings to your partners and loved ones. There are five well-known love languages: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service.

Each person may give and receive their love differently, so it’s important to understand which combination of love languages best expresses you. While reading about each type, think about yourself and how you best receive love: do you feel a deeper bond through hugs and physical affection, or do you need verbal confirmation in order to feel comfortable and seen in your relationships?

Each love language is important and valid in its own way, and it’s okay if you need more than one in your life to feel loved!

Physical Touch

Understanding Your Love LanguageA popular and well-known love language is physical touch. Many people experience love through physical affection and physical contact. This doesn’t always have to be sensual or sexual in nature – it can be as simple as a hug or kiss on the cheek, or even just holding hands when you’re together. Someone who needs physical touch will gravitate towards subtle physical contact, such as petting your hair or leaning into you when you’re sitting together.

For people who receive love through physical touch, it can be very important for them to have appropriate physical affection in their relationships. Physical touch can serve as a huge emotional connector for someone who reads love through this language, and they will appreciate every small moment of physical affection, such as cuddles or soft touches.

If your partner has physical touch as their love language, some actions you can take to show you care are initiating hugs, hand-holding, cuddles, kisses, or general physical contact. Consent is still important, so make sure to check in with your partner before creating any physical intimacy.

Also, if physical touch is your receiving love language, don’t be afraid to tell your partner! Communication is key in any relationship, and your emotional needs are an important conversation that you should have with your loved ones.

Words of Affirmation

Another popular love language, words of affirmation is very different from physical touch as it is a verbal expression of love rather than a physical one. For people who receive love through words of affirmation, kind words, praise, and appreciation are all great ways to express how much you love them. The little words of praise and gratefulness may seem insignificant to you, but for someone who experiences love through words of affirmation, it can go a long way toward making them feel appreciated and seen.

If your partner or loved one receives love through words of affirmation, some great ways to show you care are through active listening, encouraging words, and small praise. Telling them, “You did great and I’m so proud of you” or “I’m so happy to have you in my life” will make them feel loved.

If you want to go the extra mile, leaving a small note or message for your partner will really make their day! Give them words of encouragement and support often, and be sure to remind them of how wonderful they are.

Quality Time

Quality time is a love language I have always enjoyed, and it is one of my personal favorite ways to both give and receive love. This language doesn’t have to be shown through a special occasion – someone who experiences love this way enjoys spending time with you even if there’s nothing big going on. Whether it’s going out on a date together or just staying home to watch a movie, knowing someone has taken the time out of their day to devote their attention to me is one of the biggest ways I receive love.

If your partner enjoys quality time, it’s important that you schedule time just for them and put away any distractions that may take your attention away from your loved one. Active listening, full attention, and eye contact are incredibly important for offering love through quality time. Someone who experiences love through quality time needs your undivided attention, so try not to be on your phone or distracted when your partner is with you.

Ways to show love through quality time are one-on-one conversations, weekend getaways, or doing small things with your partner like taking a walk or going to grab a coffee. Little things that may seem like small moments to you will mean the world to your partner.

Giving/Receiving Gifts

In my experience, giving/receiving gifts is a love language that is incredibly divided for many people. For some people – like myself – giving gifts is an essential way that we show our love, whether it’s a small trinket when my friends are having a bad day or going all out for Christmas presents and birthdays. For others, giving gifts can be really stressful because they’re not sure what to get for anyone. That’s why it’s so important to know your love language and communicate it clearly with your partner.

For someone who has giving or receiving gifts as their love language, gift-giving is less about the object itself and more about the time and effort that went into choosing the perfect present. The gifts do not have to be big or expensive to be meaningful – it’s quite literally “the thought that counts.” When you take the time to choose a gift for someone or see something that you think would make them happy, it means that you are actively thinking about them and know them well.

For people who have gifts as one of their love languages, each gift is important and cherished. Small things can go a long way, so make sure to choose gifts that are thoughtful and show you are listening to and know your partner well. If they give you a gift, be sure to tell them how grateful you are for the time they put into the gesture. These little efforts will go a long way!

Acts of Service

A love language that is often overlooked or ignored, acts of service are an important way that many people give and receive love. Acts of service are nice or thoughtful things you can do for your partner to make their lives easier, such as running errands, cleaning the house, or buying their meal when you go out.

Each little thing you do will show them how important they are to you, and they are sure to be grateful and appreciative of all the small kindnesses. The idea of having support or making difficult tasks a team effort is essential for people who receive love through acts of service, so helping them when and where you can is a great way to show you care.

If you need more ideas for how to show love through acts of service, you can help them with chores around the house, cook breakfast, or assist them with anything that has been particularly stressful or frustrating. Every effort you make to help will make them feel secure and supported, and they will be grateful for everything you do!

Do you know which love language you like best? Tell us in the comments!

Draven Jackson HeadshotAbout Draven Jackson

Draven is an avid writer and reader who enjoys sharing her opinions on movies, books, and music with the rest of the world. She will soon be working as a teacher in Japan and hopes to use her experience to connect with other teachers and students around the globe. Draven spends most of her time at home with her family, her dogs, and her ferret.

To see more, view all posts by Draven Jackson here.


3 Comments on “Understanding Your Love Language”

  1. It’s great that people have feelings and love. So, don’t be ashamed to say sweet words, do romantic acts, and show loving gestures to your family, friends, and lovers as soon as possible.

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