I recently realized almost everything I post on social media has to do with my children. I think there is definitely something off about that. I am my own person with passions, goals, and achievements. I need to be sharing more of that! More of me. I feel like this reveals a certain loss of identity that has occurred since I have become a mother.
When women enter into the journey of motherhood they often give up a part of themselves, a pretty huge chunk. Why? Because being a mom is insanely overwhelming. You go from only having to worry about yourself, and barely managing that, to having to take care of a whole other little person. It can be hard to even take a shower, when in the world can you find time to pursue your passions?
So we give up on our dreams and taking care of ourselves in the pursuit of being the best mother possible. Until when…? The kids go to school? The kids finish school? When will it finally be our time to go after the things WE want in life?
The time is whenever we choose it to be. When we make the decision that what we want IS important and we will make it a priority. Getting past the idea that when you become a mother that is all you can be. Becoming a mother is one part of you, and you can still maintain the other parts which make you…you.
After I had my first son, almost three years ago, it took me a lot of time to recover and regain some semblance of what my life once was. I remember not being able to find the time to cook or clean for months. I was so overwhelmed by this little being who was at any given moment eating from me, sleeping on me, blowing out his diaper or projectile vomiting all over our beautiful couch.
For awhile I felt scared, ‘What have I done to my life?!’ I loved this little boy more than life itself, but I was struggling through each and every day. I had no clue when it would get any easier. Then suddenly, it does. And when it does it feels as though the first year flew by. You forget about the difficult time and move on with your life. You slowly add little things back in and before you know it, you’re you again. Though often times we leave out the final frontier, achieving our biggest dreams. We settle for a sort of survival mode, with mere glimpses of happiness.
Life is supposed to be absolutely amazing. We are supposed to spend each day thrilled to hop out of bed in the morning to start our day. It should be filled with endless magical moments that leave us buzzing with love and happiness from within. Obviously everyone wants this, but why do so few actually achieve this?
I think it’s because we get so caught up in our lives, struggling to balance all the moving parts. We give up on our dreams and tell ourselves that the life we want is just a silly fairy tale. This kind of thinking is deadly. It kills your creativity, kills possibility, and keeps you from the life you are meant to live.
As a mother you have proven that you can take on just about anything, so take on your dreams. Go after what feels good to you, what gets you excited! This will truly make you an even better mother! What greater gift is there to give your children than the example of pursuing your passions? You will show them that life isn’t just about getting a job, raising children, etc…It’s about enjoying your life and doing what you love!
Take this moment to choose a goal and go for it, even just in a small way at first. Be sure to give yourself time to work on this goal a little each week. That way when a year flies by in the blink of an eye, as it does once you have kids, you will have something that is truly yours.
This post was originally posted at thepreggoplanner.com on 1/7/16.