Teacher | Blogger | Mom
Getting married is for many the ultimate expression of love. In a blended family, it can represent a new start, and a chance to both legally and emotionally bring two families together. However, it can be a difficult time for kids, and the wedding day itself is, according to HealthyChildren.org, an occasion that requires considerable planning. Life after marriage is always colored by the day itself, too, and that will undoubtedly impact how you parent and the cohesion of your blended family unit. The wedding day itself can be inspirational for your kids.
The Big Day
One factor to pay attention to are unresolved feelings from previous marriages. While you may have been careful to parent your blended family carefully, their previous families may not have. The APA notes that the intense buildup to a wedding day, and all of the ceremonies around it, can cause feelings attached to previous experiences to rebuild. How can this be approached? It’s likely you’ll be considering your own experience from your first wedding; as much as you can plan budgets, you can also plan your own mental health considerations. Involving your kids, from both sides, and helping them to be a big part of the success story and joy of your second wedding, will help to reinforce the day as one of love and calm, rather than conflicted feelings.
The New Family Unit
Most family units now live together before marriage, but that could be different for your family. Similarly, marriage brings with it a level of psychological commitment that can be subtly different from everyday life. Approaching this is about consistency. It would be reasonable to assume that life before marriage was consistent and well-bonded – those are the ideal conditions to go into the life-affirming union. Maintaining that after the marriage shows consistency and love to your family, and a sign that the big news isn’t upheaval.
Remarrying also provides an opportunity to build healthy long-term habits for your blended family. Planning the day in a way that’s joyful and about your families coming together is a way to show them that they can be happy despite change and the pressure of confusing life events. Packing your wedding day with positivity, and making the years following warm and welcoming for every member of the family, will be beneficial for their health. Emotional development begins very young, and even where problems have appeared, they can be resolved with love and care. That will generate a strong tie for you, your children, your partner, and theirs.
In turn, this will make your life that bit easier and happier. Blended families can be a complex challenge, but as long as there is love and support within the family, they can move forward and past the difficulties that remarriage poses. That’s a recipe for long and happy life with the ones you love the most.
About Jane Sandwood
Jane has been a freelance writer and editor for over 10 years. She has written for both digital and print across a wide variety of fields. Her main interest is exploring how people can improve their health and well-being in their everyday life. And when she isn’t writing, Jane can often be found with her nose in a good book, at the gym or just spending quality time with her family.
View all posts by Jane Sandwood here.
great tips. very helpful article. we are a blended family and we see this situations with us
When my wife’s daughter was 13, we decided to bring her here (from another country) to live w/ us and our 2 younger daughters. Four years later, we were forced to send her back to live w/ her grandmother because things didn’t work out well for her (and us).
These are such great tips. We are a blended family and at first it was kind of rough going. As time though we found that being a blended family became easier and easier.